Despite what usually ends up on this little blog, I'm not actually intending to go very far into publishing or poetics. My aspirations as far as career is concerned always leans in the direction of psychology in the end. I'm down in Pittsburgh right now with the Psychology club (soon to be the newest chapter of PsyBeta) of Monroe Community College attending the Eastern Psychology Association conference. The seminars, research presentations, workshops, and networking opportunities are endless, and are giving me a clearer picture of where I'll be focusing my education in the near future, since I will transfer to a secondary college in maybe less than a year. Because I live as a minimalist, I've been able to get away with not taking out any loans for the first 2-3 years of my college education, so I'm going to use this transfer as an excuse to get out of Rochester. I've got nothing against this place, and I desperately love its people, but I need to travel in spite of all sense and justified reservation. That's just who I am. This might change when I'm older; also, it might not. I don't know.
I'm immersing myself in this conference and these people and this city. I'm taking pictures of my future on a cameraphone.
As my mind can only take so much stimulation, as these presentations are as never-ending as they are impelling, I felt need to go off to walk the streets of Pittsburgh today. I had no idea it was such a pretty little city. Some of these buildings are so incredibly tall and yet squeezed together next to each other; it gives me the illusion that I'm walking through a film set. Trains and lifts and bridges and bicycles are flying about all over the foreground and horizon. I saw the Warhol museum today, and ate a hoagie fit for a tourist. To think that Warhol himself pissed on this wall...this is his actual stain on the world I was brought into.
Somehow, regardless of physical environment, I've found myself fit for battle in the eyes of my Lord this last week. This is pretty eye-opening in and of itself, but I'm quickly learning how to fight for the souls that have been suddenly placed on the stage of my life. There's two that come to mind right now: One has been leaving messages on my phone that display to me a growing loss of confidence as she understands more about the world that is slowly trying to kill her. I met her in the back of a car, once. Haven't seen her face since, but her voice has been a presence in my life, regardless. I know she's convinced at this point that she's all alone in this. I suppose that makes me the catalyst for the time being. It brings me a lot of peace to comfort where I can, but comfort can only go so far. She needs healing. That's something I can't really bring myself, but I hope I can help bring her to it. She deserves so much more than this.
The other is actually asleep on the bed next to mine in this hotel room. I didn't know his name on Wednesday, but I'm praying for him now. He told me that he's changing his life around, that he's surrendering everything he took pride in and surrounding himself with a cloud of witnesses. His zeal is contagious.
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